Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Live strong; fall strong

This morning, while riding my bike a couple of blocks from my house, I ate it... hard.

I had been riding for about twenty minutes, when I saw a perfect opportunity to take my bike off a sweet jump. The jump was the slope of the sidewalk on the left side of the street. Unfortunately, today is trash day, so there was a row of three trash bins just beyond the spot at which I planned to make my ascent. There are a number of reasons why this particular jump was unsuccessful; namely, basic laws of physics, but also the well-known fact that my physical prowess is limited, and my body can can best be described as "dead weight".

For this jump to have been successful, I would have had to either: jump completely over the row of bins, or lean out of the jump which would send me to the side of the bins. I attempted the latter, a far more plausible scenario given my physical dexterity. As I took off, my uncoordinated, non-athletic butt had a meeting with the trash bin, turning me sideways, in the other direction. I had failed to stay to the side of the row, thus throwing the opposite side of my body to the ground. I only skidded for seven or eight feet, though that was more than enough to tangle my bike chain. There I was—blood flowing down my pasty-white, hairless legs—trying to fix my bike chain, while a little twelve-year-old girl was laughing her head off at what she had just seen. In her defense, pasty-white, un-athletic chubby guys falling off their bikes in the middle of the streets is always pretty funny.

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8 Comments:

Blogger Dan said...

LOL, scary mental picture. I hope you mend quickly!

P.S. I like your yellow band, but I give that fad until January 2 before it's replaced by another ridiculous fad like branded Pirate Eye Patches or something. ;-)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005 6:38:00 PM  
Blogger Joanna Martens said...

If it helps, I too have fallen victim to unfortunate dirt munching. A couple days ago I was leaving a friends house and when I walked out the door-with my hands full of crap, and I stepped on his stupid skate board...
and then yesterday I was riding my bike home from school and a car almost hit me. They were going flippin fast...so i crashed in front of them and other cars. All that got hurt was my leg and pride...more to come on my site...

hey-are you holding a jack daniel's glass?
:-)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005 8:49:00 PM  
Blogger C-train said...

Dearest Pecadillo, truly you have all the right moves blended with a dash of classic grace. A grace which undisputably and undeniably captivates the mind and entrapts the senses in a web of enchantment.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 4:25:00 AM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Well, nothing gay about that.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 9:36:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

Sweet Jumps always wind up bad.

Always.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

Once you hit the ground, did you jump up fast to make sure you looked "cool?" Muttering something like, "I'm good, I'm good."

Fred
Hip and Thigh

Thursday, September 08, 2005 12:19:00 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Centuri0n's right, but when you're on a bike, EVERYTHING starts looking like a sweet jump!

(Note: fresh barkdust piles should be avoided...trust me. ;-)

Thursday, September 08, 2005 2:15:00 PM  
Blogger C-train said...

After knowing Pecadillo for eight years I am all to familiar with seeing small children laugh and or cry at the sight of him.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 10:03:00 PM  

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