Saturday, September 10, 2005

What's in a name?

Are you telling me the best name they could come up with for this hurricane was "Katrina"???

Seeing how this was easily the worst natural disaster ever in America, shouldn't that merit a more fearsome name than "Katrina"? What's the deal with that? Katrina? That is not a name that evokes much fear. I don't know whose job it is to name these disasters, but the guy needs to get fired.

Last year, another hurricane ravaged the coasts of Florida and other southern districts, and some moron decided to name it "Betsy."

Betsy!?!

That has to be a joke. It sounds like a doll, not a destructive force of nature. No one is going to flee their home because "Betsy" is coming. Nobody in the history of mankind ever said, "Oh no, Betsy's coming, run for your lives!"

What's next? Hurricane Skippy?

Traditionally, hurricanes are named alphabetically. Apparently, they all used to have women's names, but some angry femi-nazis felt that hit a little too close to home, so to speak.

So now, in the name of equal rights, they rotate between boy and girl names. For example; the first one of the season might be called Andrew, followed by Betsy (apparently), then Chuck, then Doris, etc.

Last year, the second storm of the season needed a girl's name beginning with the letter B. Instead of "Betsy," maybe they should have gone with something a little more frightening—like Bertha. Now that's a name people will run from! "Bertha" just sounds like a powerhouse of destruction that claims hundreds of lives. In fact, most people are probably already accustomed to running away from people and things named "Bertha."

They never use famous names, but I can think of some really scary ones: Geraldo, Oprah, Cher, Seacrest.

And why is it only a first name? I think a last name or some kind of title could be useful to help people distinguish between disastrous storms that could potentially destroy their lives, and annoying relatives that might also destroy their lives. If they ever do name a hurricane "Bertha," it might be confusing for citizens who happen to have an Aunt Bertha. So maybe "Bertha the Horrible." Later that year we might encounter "Kevin Barstool." "Gunter Shirtstain." Or "Nigel the Colostomyzer."

Possibly someday we'll be hit with "Hurricane John Tesh".

Those are names people can be afraid of! Not "Betsy."

Labels: ,

6 Comments:

Blogger Dan said...

Nigel..LOL, good observation. :-) I'd like to see famous conquerors like Hurricane Ghengis Khan, or last names like, Hurricane Hasselhoff.

I wonder when they are going to start selling the naming rights to Hurricanes? And why just Hurricanes? Why don't they don't name large earthquakes?

Saturday, September 10, 2005 11:20:00 PM  
Blogger Chris Freeland said...

John Tesh? There's a "gripping" name.

How about hurricane "Rosanne?" She always weirded me out.

Sunday, September 11, 2005 8:40:00 PM  
Blogger Matt Brown said...

I think names like Stir-up-a-mess, Blow-the-houses-down, and To-infinity-and-beyond would be apt names for hurricanes.

Monday, September 12, 2005 1:35:00 AM  
Blogger Theteak said...

My older sister is named Katrina - she's not very scary. Except for a brief period in the mid 80's when she dressed up as Boy George - THAT WAS SCARY. (And confusing come to think of it). I love your blog. Trying to work out how to link it from mine - my html is not all that good.

Monday, September 12, 2005 8:28:00 PM  
Blogger Bazooka-Joe said...

It's only a matter of time before Hurricane names are put up for auction as advertising time from the National Weather Service.

Hurrican Starbucks. Nabisco Tropical Storm. This natural disaster was brought to you by General Electric. We bring good things to life.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 8:20:00 AM  
Blogger Will said...

Pecadillo you are obviously not married. If you were, you would know why they name Hurricanes with Female names (until the recent PC-police introduced effeminant male hurricanes - andrew). There are times when every man beleives he married a dangerous force of nature.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 6:23:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home