Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Pecadillo's Picks, volume 2

The Teak has a post about the differences between American toilets and "dunnies" from his native Australia that has absolutely fascinated me. Apparently, "toities" down under are far more effective than ours. Not only does he describe the mechanics in graphic detail, but in another post, the Teakster published pictures of his very own "Crocodile Dunnie."

I also found the account of his visit to In-N-Out particularly interesting as he visited one that I been have been frequenting my entire life. It's an interesting outsider's perspective that is also good read.

I must say, after reading of the wonder that is the Australian toilet, I have been given yet another reason to travel Down Under. Perhaps the best reason is because Australian chicks have the most attractive accent ever. It has long been my goal to find myself a God-fearing Australian lass, and make her Mrs. Pecadillo.

You'll never see a more realistic classic TV show than the Rockford Files. Today, reality is often the goal; everything is supposed to be as realistic as possible. Back in the 70's, there was one show that stood out among all others as entertaining and believable. James Garner's performance as a private investigator named Rockford paved the way and set the standard for the now redundant anti-hero character. Jimmy never broke even. He almost never got paid for his detective services, and when he did, he usually had to spend it all to get his car fixed, or pay some off a debt he wasn't responsible for. He often got beat up; usually the result of his friendship with a weasly con named Angel played by Stuart Margolin. Any episode with him is a guaranteed winner. Angel's always trying to rip off Rockford, or use him in some way. He's a dishonorable scoundrel you can't help but love.

Here's Angel's description of a chess game between Rockford and his dad (Rocky)—note the strong use of 70's jive talk:

"This game's over, man! You gotta move your Boss or Rocky's gonna lay a subpoenie on him; then his Torpedo is gonna smoke your Old Lady, and all your Heavies'll be doin' time—except for maybe your Mouthpiece, but Rocky's Sheriff's got him put in the corner. You got nothin' left but Punks and Junkies: you're through, Jimmy."

—Angel Martin to Jim Rockford

I love that show.

For the past year or so, I've been using a pen that is wicked awesome. It's called a Space Pen. NASA developed this truly ingenious invention so their astronauts could use pens in space. Obviously, the average ball-point pen would be useless when in zero gravity because it utilizes the gravity system to work. The Space Pen is pressurized, making it possible to write while holding it upside-down.

When I was abroad last year, some of my friends there told me a joke I would not likely have heard in the States: The Americans spent thirty years designing and perfecting a pen that works in space. Russian astronauts use pencils.

I actually know a guy who is an astronaut, but I'm a little reluctant to ask him if they really use these pens. The last time I saw him, he crushed me with the news that they don't really drink Tang. He didn't even know what it was. How can it be called "the drink of the astronauts" when they don't even drink it? And to think, all those times I drank Tang as a wee Pecadillo, thinking that would make me more like a "Space man"—now I know all I got was a better chance at diabetes.

Breaks my heart.

Olive Garden. Before I continue, I want to make something clear; I am not one of those people that thinks the Olive Garden is Italian Food. It may be called Italian Food, but it's about as Americanized as it could be. Calling Olive Garden authentic Italian food is about the same as calling the sushi sold at Costco authentic Japanese food.

That being said, it should be noted that I have yet to meet a single female who doesn't love the Olive Garden. Clearly it has a purpose; dates. I have a theory about this: girls that would otherwise decline to go out with you (in my case, most girls) are more likely to say yes if they know they're getting free Olive Garden out of it.

Also, every so often, Olive Garden has a deal called the "Never ending pasta bowl". The name says it all. You pay for one bowl of pasta, but receive as many as you can eat. If you're anything like me, you like to get your money's worth. If so, it would be a good idea to not partake of the magical never-ending pasta-bowl while on a date. Especially if you suspect the savory cuisine is the only reason you're not eating alone. For more information, my buddy James, a server at "the OG", recently wrote a post about this deal and its effect on Olive Garden employees.

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Blogger clyde said...

A few things:

-I'd like to check out the SpacePen
-I am glad that you realize that Olive Garden really has nothing (NOTHING) to do with Italy. The fact you would take a female to Olive Garden is bad since you want to be unique on a date. How many relationships have started in an Olive Garden? Do you really want to be the guy known as, "THE-GUY-WHO-TOOK-ME-TO-THE-PLACE-MY-EX-TOOK ME?"

Unless you'd like to live forever in your single state you will have to learn to think outside of the box.

If you'd like, we can discuss much finer cuisine choices. Do you really want to be on a date with a choice female and also see Little Rey?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger mensa reject said...


The Olive Garden is the Denny's of Italian restaurants.

Mensa Reject

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 12:14:00 PM  
Blogger C-train said...

Pecadillo converted me to the space pen. It is amazing, it looks really cool and it it is very small. The only problem is that I have probably lost it about twenty times since buying it.
He is also correct about The Teak's post on the Australian dunny, it is fascinating. It is enough to make me consider moving to Australia.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Tang isn't the drink of astronauts? What DO they drink then?
Please tell me it's not ovaltine.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

You know what was better than Rockford files? Columbo. That show is perfect. Get the DVD set from netflix you won't regret it.

Its always the same plot. Rich villian, frumpy cop and a slow series of clues that lead toward conviction. But somehow it never gets boring.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:22:00 PM  
Blogger Rev. James Jackson said...

I have never liked olive garden. I like real italian food. Where they don't speak english. That's how italian I like it.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:24:00 PM  
Blogger Bazooka-Joe said...

ASTRONAUTS DON'T DRINK TANG?!?!?! Just when you think there's a few constants in the universe you can depend on. You've ruined my day Pecadillo. :(

I'm not ashamed to admit that I love the Olive Garden. I too am aware of the obvious differences between the OG and authentic Italian, but I'm past caring. Especially with the new Never Ending Pasta Bowl for only $7.95!! What more can you ask for?...Oh yeah...tang.


Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:25:00 PM  
Blogger Filmbandits said...

Pec - I have to say that I do agree with most of your latest blog...don't let it go to your head. Rockford was one of the greatest detective shows to ever grace the small screen. Not to mention it had one of the greatest theme songs...the words to it are definitely enjoyable (disclaimer: there aren't really words to the song, unless you are in my shower every morning around 6:45 directly following the theme to Cheers).

I do have to disagree with you slightly on the whole Olive Garden date idea. Whereas most women do enjoy "Italian" food, the decor and ambiance do not necessarily encourage hand holding or even the ever exciting booth cuddle. My recommendation to you would be to find a restaurant with better mood lighting...please, for the love, do not fall back on the typical Grace Church Michelis dinner. If the goal is to get a hug and the first date kiss...choose a romantic dinner atmosphere...I can offer up several for a small fee. Hopefully this has been helpful in your transformation from boy-to-manhood.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:41:00 PM  
Blogger dumbutdeep said...

Olive Garden, by namesake, attracts a low-brow, unsavvy clientle; Olives don't even grow in gardens, but orchards.
Have you ever seen the Jerry Seifield episode about the pen you described? It's called "the Pen", (aptly named like Pecadillo)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:44:00 PM  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

As for Italian Restaurants, Siciliy's is a much better place than OG. The food is a tad bit pricey, but much, much tastier, and they don't have one of those white trash endless bowl/platter deals. A joint might as well have a buffet if you are going to offer a dish with "endless" describing it.

If you want a gal to be happy with your ability to select the proper place for a date, I would suggest going with Siciley's before OG. With OG, you may get a sideways hug out of the date; Siciley's is a potential hand hold.

Hip and Thigh

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:53:00 PM  
Blogger Filmbandits said...

Even Sicily doesn't offer the correct atmosphere to get a proper end to the evening...you might want to venture out of the Santa Clarita area (yes I actually suggested that). Whereas Fred and I are married men and can afford to take our wives to a less classy establishment...these young bucks need to put on the false sense of style and class that every single guy must portray in order to land the right woman. Notice I said the "right" woman not one of those girls who's just in it for the free food and gifts.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 2:01:00 PM  
Blogger Chris Freeland said...


My blog isn't nearly as funny, so I won't attempt it. But I hope Pecadillo does a blog in the near future about the inherent dangers of "booth cuddling" to society as a whole. Those people make me sick. They're going gaga over each other and distracting me while I'm trying to eat as many bowls as possible before my stomach tells my brain I'm full. Get a room. I'm trying to eat.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 2:38:00 PM  
Blogger suzi said...

Pic- I don't know if this counts because I am married but I would take Sicily's anyday over OG. Hey,although my Grams loves OG. (p.s. Filmbandits, that had better not get back to Grams by the way) :; You do the math.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 3:42:00 PM  
Blogger 86 said...

While our food may not be the best "Italian" food around it is the best imatation Itailian food around. I know because I work there and eat it 3-4 times a week. I also know that at the OG you recieve better service then anywhere else, we as servers do more work per guest then any other server in any other resturant.

I have also witnessed the OG date many times having been the server that gets to deal with a guy who is about faint and a girl who is clearly there only for the food. It is quite funny really to witness.

I must also state that we are not anywhere near to a Denny's our food is cooked fresh and brought out to you hot. Our service standards are far superior to that of Denny's.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 3:55:00 PM  
Blogger Impacted Wisdom Truth said...

Rockford Files? Ok.

Columbo? Meh.

The real show was Banacek.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 4:49:00 PM  
Blogger Sojourner said...

I only go to the Olive Garden for the salads. The irony of it all is that even though it's called "The Olive Garden," I rarely find more than two olives in the entire monster bowl of salad. I just don't get it.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 5:20:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...


If you follow any of filmbandits advice you might as well kiss future dates goodbye. If it wasn't for his "current" wife and her great tolerance for his oddities, I do believe he would still be single. Besides I think to her he is a missions project. As far as the Rockford files being teh best detective show I would have to disagree. I would go for Magnum P.I. and as far as resturants go something at sunset at the beach is the best for getting second dates and even goodnight kisses. Just ask my wife.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 5:24:00 PM  
Blogger Wes Langdon said...

pec, I'm half Italian, and although I've never O-lived it up, (get it?), I must say 'Buca Di Beppo' in San Diego's GasLamp disrict is "Real Italian", complete with portraits of fat Italian toddlers urinatng into a well in Rome in the bathromms at this restraunt. Cool!, but most importantly, the cannolies will make you an offer you can't refuse. Sorry, I couldn't help it.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 5:50:00 PM  
Blogger Filmbandits said...

Witchie - don't be haten...and besides I am pretty sure most of your "dinners at sunset" usually include a robotic mouse, airhockey and skeeball.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 5:52:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Whoa whoa whoa. I never said the Olive Garden is the best place to take a date. Trust me, it's not.

It is good in a pinch, though. You know how it is after church. Every one's standing around, deciding where to go for lunch-only nobody wants to make a suggestion. Just say the two magic words and everyone's happy.

As for the Rockford Files... anyone who concurred with me gets a gold star. Everyone else - listen up Christian Survey - I'm watching you. One more comment like that and I'll banish you for good. Columbo, please. You said the plot never changes as if that's a selling point.

I can understand why someone would think Magnum PI was better. After all, both shows were made by the same people and Magnum's car was waaaaaaaay cooler. But show for show, ya gotsta go with Rockford.

Once again, I'm not saying Olive Garden is the ideal date place to eat. When I take a girl out, I want her to know I've got good taste and that I'm willing to spend money on her. So we go to Arby's.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 5:53:00 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Hey Pec:

Here's a map to plan your vacation down under. Those Australians have thought of everything!

Australia's National Public Toilet Map

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 6:22:00 PM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

Listen: the other reason Olive Garden exists is to make one's wife happy. I'm not saying my wife in particular, but wives in general, because I'm not allowed to blog about my wife.

As for being unique on a date, that's completely over-rated. One of the things that has to happen on a date is that your companion has to remember what a great time she had with you, and not what a unique place she visited. You could take her to the Polinesian (sp?) Restaurant at Disney World by private jet and have her carried around all night like a goddess on a litter by hulking eunichs, and where would that leave you? You'd be like a well-placed comma: completely functional, and completely ignored. Not even background noise. There are reasons you are single, padwan, and that you do not know the reason Olive Garden is a great date is one of them.

As for the Rockford Files, you weren't even born when that show was on. How can you possibly know anything about the 70's if you weren't even a pecadillito when Jim Rockford received his first message on that answering machine?

And I'm making it official here: I refuse to call C-Train "C-Train" anymore. As far as I'm concerned, his new nickname is "Jack Russell". It suits him, no?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 8:13:00 PM  
Blogger Theteak said...

We have many a great 'godly babes' down here and American believers are more than welcome to scoop them up (as long as they are Calvinists). I have a space pen, I never got to eat at Olive Garden, what on earth is the Rockford Files?
I'm even more proud of the toilet situation now that I know our dear government has provided a map to find them...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 3:37:00 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

The name of your blog: from Real Genius? Socrates' last words?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 7:22:00 AM  
Blogger Daniel said...

The Rockford Files had the best theme song of them all. BAR NONE.

word: hdohjup (huh-doh'-jup), Something you yell when you karate chop someone.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 7:48:00 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

Rockford Files was an awesome TV show, all the cooler because Rockford is the name of the town where I live.

But off-topic: looking at your blogroll...yes, "Jibbs" is a cool name for a blog, but as anyone who has seen "Bottle Rocket" (and you MUST!) knows, the coolest blog title is "Dignan's 75-year Plan."

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:21:00 AM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

What can I say, my dad raised me well.

I'm glad to see I meet all the requirements.

Sicily stinks. I'm not referring to poor service or food; I mean the place smells. Bad. I can rarely bring my self to even walk by without gagging on the over-powering garlic stench that exudes from ever door and window.

That toilet map is the coolest thing ever. Well done. Another gold star for you.

Who talks like that?

Jibbs is just the guy's name. Click on him and you'll see the title I'm talking about-the title of his blog.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 9:46:00 AM  
Blogger C-train said...

Australia really does seem to have everything. Pec and I have conversed often about the attractiveness of Australian accents on chicks. No other accents come close to having the same charm. Just when I thought that I had seen all Australia had to offer, I find the Teak's post on their amazing toilets, and now from Dan that they actually have maps to these toilets. And people think that China is going to be the next global super power, ha.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 9:51:00 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

OK. That IS a cool name. :)

Hey, did you know that in England, they call lay-offs "redundancies"? I learned that from watching the British version of "The Office" (which is much funnier than the American version, by the way.)

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Bazooka-Joe said...

Oh yeah, I forgot all about "Real Genius". I was trying to remember where I'd heard that "I Drank What" comment about Socrates.

Best movie Val Kilmer's ever done.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 11:16:00 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Joe - I almost agree with you, but hands down, Tombstone was Val Kilmer's best role.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 11:30:00 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Perhaps young padawan more clear I would have been if said I did, "Is named your blog for Real Genius?"

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 11:35:00 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Cindy said...but as anyone who has seen "Bottle Rocket" (and you MUST!) knows, the coolest blog title is "Dignan's 75-year Plan."

Yes! I love that movie. I'm not sure if I could ever pick a favorite Wes Anderson movie, but this one would one of the heavy contenders.
The Office (american version) is a riot. BBC viewrs are just biased because they started watching that one first and are sold on it. It depends on which one you started watching first...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 3:03:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:03:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

Ok, I am going to risk banishment here to defend Columbo.

Columbo is like the haiku. It follows a set rigid form and yet expresses itself in new and interesting ways.

Now here is a Columbo Haiku:

Good old Columbo;
Always the man seems so dumb
He misses no clues.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:09:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Christian Survey

If you want to pick a single Columbo episode and declare it great, go right ahead. However, seeing how every episode is EXACTLY THE SAME, it has nothing on Rockford.

If it wasn't for Columbo's glass eye, I'd go so far as to say it's on par with Murder She Wrote.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:31:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

Comparing Columbo to murder she wrote is like comparing Mozart and Britney Spears. The casting of Peter Faulk with his lazy eye was brilliant; thats for sure. But the whole show was darn near perfect.

If you want a episode recomendation, go on netflix and get season 1, disc 1 (disc 2 is great too).

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:50:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Christian Survey, how is it that you are able to pick a favorite? That's like saying this can of Pepsi tastes better than that can of Pepsi.


The plot never changes. The show always starts with the murder. You see who did it (taking away the exciting possibility of wondering "who done it") then Columbo wanders onto the crime scene, sucking on his nasty, unlit cigar-butt. He makes contact with the murderer, who, by the way, ALWAYS pretends to help Columbo solve the case. Columbo acts (maybe he doesn't) stupid. Then at the last minute announces he has "one more question" and then proceeds to accuse and arrest the killer.

Honestly, I'm convinced the writers work off the same script only changing the names and occupations of the characters every episode. They are hacks.

The show is useless. USELESS.

How can Peter Falk look himself in the mirror every morning knowing he's been playing the same roll in the same story for the past thirty-five years? Oh yeah, that's how-the glass eye.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 9:09:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

Ok, I am going to have to go back to the haiku. A haiku takes the same form (like a Columbo plot). You know that it is going to be 5 syllabus then 7 then 5. You could say it is 'boring' because it is predictable.....but it is a major art form that is centuries old and has spanned continents!

Now, let's consider Columbo. The form has been laid out as you described above. Frumpy cop, rich villain, murder at the beginning...... But the rest is wide open. Now, if I constrained you to follow that form, you might write a boring episode but not the Columbo writers - they wrote consistent and brilliant episodes.

Steven Spielberg actually directed a few episodes (he recognized the brilliance of Columbo).

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 9:36:00 PM  
Blogger Abomidable said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 9:46:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

What, you mean the same Steven Spielberg that's responsible for AI?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 11:32:00 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

I started to watch Columbo once. I found out who did it before the first commercial break, so I turned it off. Good show, didn't waste the whole rest of my hour.

I'd like to see a made-for-tv movies where a murder occurs and Matlock, Columbo, Jessica Fletcher all happen to be in town visiting relatives. My money is on Matlock. He asks good questions. Jessica Fletcher would come in 2nd, but only if the left handed victim was made to look like a right handed suicide. She was keen on those right hand/left hand things. ;-)

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:16:00 AM  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

Sicily stinks. I'm not referring to poor service or food; I mean the place smells. Bad. I can rarely bring my self to even walk by without gagging on the over-powering garlic stench that exudes from ever door and window.

Pec my man, Italian food isn't good Italian food UNLESS it is drenched in garlic.

I probably can agree with Filmbandit man (I thought his idea of a classy joint was Jimmy Deans) that you may have to leave Santa Clarita to find a place with tremendous atmosphere. You may even have to - God forbid - travel down into LA proper. You will have to beat off the ghouls, but places like the "Stikin' Rose" and even experiencing a cultural exchange at "Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles" (the one in Hollywood off Gower street) can be fun and affordable date places.

Hip and Thigh

Thursday, October 06, 2005 5:59:00 AM  
Blogger Will said...

Pec, yeah that Steven Spielburg. His episodes (season one disc 2) are super artzy. The first one starts off with a car driving through town being filmed from hundreds of feet above. The sound is just a typewriter typing. Then the music comes in. The tension builds. Then the camera zeros in on the typer (the source of the sound). Then silence.

Its a perfect intro. Of course the murder and the "one more question" follow in perfect form afterword.

BTW I do like Rockford files, just not as much.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 2:04:00 PM  

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