People are more stupider.
Today, a man came into my store inquiring about a new pump for his koi pond. I suspect this was his first contact with the outside world in weeks.
The man was fifty-something and appeared to be wearing the sleeves of a brown wool shag coat. About the time I realized he was wearing a sleeveless shirt, he informed me that his current pump will often "arch" a spark. He also mentioned he's noticed that, when barefoot, he gets a shock whenever he sticks his hand in the water. The man then proceeded to look me in the eye and ask me with a straight face, "Does that sound serious?"
After explaining to him the obvious danger of his pond's electrical setup, I handed him a new pump and UV sterilizer to replace his old ones. He then said—and I promise you I'm not making this up—"I'm not too good with reading words. You'll have to tell me what to do."
Well, now there's a shocker.
There is a family of four that has been frequenting my store longer than I've been an employee. The only problem is I'm pretty sure they've never bought a single thing. Now I don't want to sound like I think everyone who enters our store is obligated to leave having purchased something, but they come in every week—as if we were their own personal, no-admission-fee Sea World®.
Also, I'm not sure, but I suspect their two boys are the spawn of Satan.
I've never caught the boys names, so let's call them "Uday" and "Qusay". These two troglodytes love to wipe their grubby, filthy hands all over our aquariums. I realize that doesn't sound like a big deal but it takes me a long time to clean all those tanks, and I'm proud of the fact that I do a good job. A lot of kids do that, but these kids are out of control. They're constantly running around our store, knocking things over, breaking our equipment, and shouting at the fish. Every time they come in, Uday and Quusay enjoy testing the buoyancy of new kinds of candy by placing it into one of the aquariums.
When their parents discover the havoc their sons are wreaking, they usually respond by laughing or say something like, "Isn't that cute?"
Who are these people, and why do they seem to flock to me?
The man was fifty-something and appeared to be wearing the sleeves of a brown wool shag coat. About the time I realized he was wearing a sleeveless shirt, he informed me that his current pump will often "arch" a spark. He also mentioned he's noticed that, when barefoot, he gets a shock whenever he sticks his hand in the water. The man then proceeded to look me in the eye and ask me with a straight face, "Does that sound serious?"After explaining to him the obvious danger of his pond's electrical setup, I handed him a new pump and UV sterilizer to replace his old ones. He then said—and I promise you I'm not making this up—"I'm not too good with reading words. You'll have to tell me what to do."
Well, now there's a shocker.
There is a family of four that has been frequenting my store longer than I've been an employee. The only problem is I'm pretty sure they've never bought a single thing. Now I don't want to sound like I think everyone who enters our store is obligated to leave having purchased something, but they come in every week—as if we were their own personal, no-admission-fee Sea World®.
Also, I'm not sure, but I suspect their two boys are the spawn of Satan.
I've never caught the boys names, so let's call them "Uday" and "Qusay". These two troglodytes love to wipe their grubby, filthy hands all over our aquariums. I realize that doesn't sound like a big deal but it takes me a long time to clean all those tanks, and I'm proud of the fact that I do a good job. A lot of kids do that, but these kids are out of control. They're constantly running around our store, knocking things over, breaking our equipment, and shouting at the fish. Every time they come in, Uday and Quusay enjoy testing the buoyancy of new kinds of candy by placing it into one of the aquariums. When their parents discover the havoc their sons are wreaking, they usually respond by laughing or say something like, "Isn't that cute?"Who are these people, and why do they seem to flock to me?
Labels: stupid people
posted by Pecadillo at 12:14 PM
14 Comments:
That's funny about the seaworld thing. You have to admit, its a cheap family outing.
When I was a kid I used to go to the dog kennel and watch dogs. My parents never let me have a pet. Never.
Uday and Qusay. I thought you were talking about my kids for a second.
Then I realized that I would probably respond to my boys doing that in the opposite extreme and drag them both out by the ear.
(They're joined at the ear)
I saw and thought of your "Live Strong Fall Strong Posts."
Your birthday is the day after mine. I turned 24. For my birthday my friends took me to a fair where they paid my way for me to chase a pig around a wrestling ring full of mud. I guess you could say that it was the best birthday ever.
I'll make sure my kids are better behaved next time.
Fred
Hip and Thigh
I think that bottom picture of the kid with the gun was me at the age of 10 after a game of Airsoft. I think I was pretty ticked that I lost.
I think I have had both those kids names as my verification word at various times.
I'm just waiting for a guy to come along and say "Hey! That's my name! My full name is Qusay Usafa Bin There. Why do you make fun of my name?"
It's the way you hold your purse.
And we have just learned something important about RevJJ, but I will leave what that is up to the imagination until Monday ...
I also wanted to say that Daniel's latest avatar does not make him look smart. It makes him look like he should be giving us all purse-holding lessons. Those little glasses are completely effeminate and artsy -- in the bad way.
dude, I can't wait!
I'm not giving the kids a "get out of jail free card"...but, we're talking like 5-6 year olds right? Where are the parents? Watching the havoc unfold before their eyes and then pantomiming bewilderment and horrific novelty? I love it. Let's excuse every deplorable deed and recalcitrant defiance of authority in the name of "kids will be kids".
"Damien, stop injecting your brother with Clorox....[smile]...kids these days."
Rev. Jackson James....or whatever your name is. I have contacted my lawyer. You are in trouble. Big time. Identity theft. Ever heard of it? Its a little thing thats been illegal for a long time.
Also, the bible says plenty about not pretending to be someone you arent.
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