Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Live strong; fall strong part deux

Well guess what. Apparently, I shouldn't have a bike.

That's right, I ate it... again. Although this time, it wasn't due to any ill-conceived plans of going off sweet jumps. Also, I'm pleased to say that this time I stayed on my feet.

It is incredibly windy today; there have been reports of winds up to 45 mph. Nevertheless, I set out to ride on my favorite bike trail, about nine miles or so. The first half was horrible; it was on a slight incline and the wind was so strong I could barely maintain speed. My speedometer averaged a pathetic 6 or 7 miles an hour. Coming back, after the turn-around point, I started out understandably well. I was going downhill and with the powerful gusts of wind to my advantage. Here, my average speed was about 23 miles an hour.

Just as I passed a school playground that shares a fence with my bike path, something happened with my kickstand. My size 14 clown-shoe scuffed the ground, causing it to bounce up and hit my kickstand, sending it into my back wheel. If you've ever seen "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," you can imagine what happened next. My back tire stopped dead in its tracks, causing the bike to do a front-wheelie for about a second and a half. Somehow my legs made it over the handlebars, so when the bike eventually flipped over front-ways, I was on my feet, skidding to a halt in the standing (more like hunched) position.

For about a nanosecond, I was able to contemplate the wipe-out I had just avoided and the position I was currently in. I came to the reasonable conclusion that I had just pulled off the impossible and come out of it looking pretty cool in front of all the elementary kids.

Then my bike caught up with me and hit me in the head.

Now there was no question about it—I looked stupid. Really stupid. Any doubt I could have had on the matter was immediately erased once the entire playground full of kids commenced the justifiable pointing and laughing.

How is it possible that every time I eat it, there are always punk elementary kids there to laugh at me? I think from now on, I'm going to avoid riding anywhere near children; they seem to always indicate that bad things are afoot.

To make things worse, my friends Joey and Erin Penberthy are both teachers at that school, and may have even witnessed this display of my total lack of bike-riding skills. Who knows, they could have been laughing too. I know I would have.

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31 Comments:

Blogger Will said...

I found it interesting that you have a speedometer on your bike. You must be hardcore.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:53:00 PM  
Blogger Abomidable said...

Pec,

I didn't know you were a biker. We should bike sometime. At least I'm not a punk elementary school kid. ;)

Pax.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 9:52:00 PM  
Blogger C-train said...

Pec, I don't understand why that fat Asian dude is riding you in the picture... oh wait, that is a pig he's riding, my mistake.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:10:00 AM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Really C-train? That's the best you could do?

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:15:00 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Pec: Excellent description, I felt a slight sympathy cringe...before I laughed. I hope you didn't get scraped up too bad. :-D

C-train: give the guy who's got your back a little respect on his corner of the 'net. You'll need him to bail you out when you inadverdantly crumple some paper at college. ;-)

Trendy wristband: "Armadillo"

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:41:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

"Then my bike caught up with me and hit me in the head."

It's always payday in Gooberville. I'd pay real money for the video of that crash.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 6:09:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

Jack Russell needs to stick to the straight-man gig. He's got the comic sensibilities of Art Bell.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 6:13:00 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I am reminded of Pee Wee Herman.

"I meant to do that."
I don't ride bikes anymore. The seats hurt my bottom.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 6:59:00 AM  
Blogger clyde said...

Pec, did you use my picture without permission? I'm sure if Joey or Erin witnessed that they wouldn't make laugh at you there, they'll just bring it up on a Tuesday evening.

Out like Jack Russell

Thursday, October 06, 2005 7:16:00 AM  
Blogger Daniel said...

C-Train - that is no pig, it's a "hog"

Pec, I put 2000 miles on my bike this summer, and only had about three major wipe outs, and was only hit by a van head on in traffic once. I count it a good summer when I haven't broken any bones in a wipe out.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 7:42:00 AM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Wow, Daniel. I've only put on 60 something miles.

Frank, while I agree Jack Russel is the perfect straight-man, he IS very funny in his own right. He's alot like Larry from the Three Stooges; quiet, usually plays it straight for his buddies. But when he turns it on, he can be the funniest guy in the room.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 9:38:00 AM  
Blogger Dinsdale said...

I think that the picture of fat Asian fella is none other than Hideki Matsui of the Yankees. I think, yes...he's wearing batting gloves.

Must be a picture of him from last off-season. Man, he slimmed down.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:57:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

Pecca:

So when's he going to turn it on?

Thursday, October 06, 2005 11:03:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

Ok, ok -- I have to admit that I have gone too far in my criticism of the hapless Jack Russell.

If he wasn't funny in some kind of primordial way, I wouldn't be linked to him. Every time I read his stuff I think, "this is what it would be like if David Lee Roth sobered up and told us about his early teen years."

Thursday, October 06, 2005 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger Sojourner said...

Look, you simply cannot be hard core and still have a kick-stand attached to your bicycle. Hard core people know this.

Of course, in your defense, you never claimed to be hard core.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger DC said...

Pec,

I think you should find some other way to excersize. If you're not careful, your next fall may just send you to Heaven. (then you would traumatize the elementary school kids for the rest of their lives).

-DC

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:19:00 PM  
Blogger Frank Martens said...

SO uhhh... I need some help from the pecster. And this is completely off topic.

We are coming to cali, but need to know of a few good beaches to surf at. Any tips? Since you had kids laughing at you, you're welcome to come laugh at us as we attempt this thing called surfing :)

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:27:00 PM  
Blogger Frank Martens said...

Better yet instead of responding here, contact me!

Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Pec - 60 miles, you must have simply turned it over at 9999 - it really reads 10,059 miles.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 1:48:00 PM  
Blogger C-train said...

Centurion- I realize the joke was poor, but standards of Christian good taste prevented me from making the joke that I had originally intended. If you would like to know what I really wanted to say, then you can e-mail a request.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 2:32:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Frank

Do I look like I surf? I don't. I whish I did, but I don't.

Maybe I should start. If you put me in the water, I'm like a buoy.

One of my favorite beaches is called Point Dume, near where Malibu and Ventura meet. But what do I know.

The only good travel help I can offer is telling you where to eat. Sorry dude.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 2:45:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

but you live in Cali man? Everyone who doesn't live in Cali knows that everyone who does live in Cali surfs - at least that's what we believe in Canada eh?

Thursday, October 06, 2005 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Hey! Daniel's got a new profile pic. Now he's looking like a guy who's ridden a bicycle the equivalent of 2/3 the way across the US!

Thursday, October 06, 2005 4:30:00 PM  
Blogger Rev. James Jackson said...

I think its offensive to mock Lance Armstrong. That's all I have to say.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 4:45:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

I was fiddling with profile pics - I am still not settled on this one - but it does look like a cycling hat a bit eh?

Thursday, October 06, 2005 7:25:00 PM  
Blogger The Fantastic Daughter-In-Law's Spouse said...

What's with linking to my profile??

The Fantastic Daughter-In-Law and I thoroughly enjoyed this post...what I'm really curious about is if the crash was accompanied by the customary throat-clearing "did anyone see that?" noise...

Thursday, October 06, 2005 7:39:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Well I thought I needed more than two kinfolk to link to. As for the throat-clearing; you know I did.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger clyde said...

A's husband and Pec: I was a bit puzzled to see link as well...

Friday, October 07, 2005 8:00:00 AM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Hey Fantastic Daughter-In-Law's Spouse, think of it as motivation to start blogging.

Friday, October 07, 2005 8:46:00 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

I remember when hardcore was removing the kickstand.

Just do it!

Ben O.

Friday, October 07, 2005 9:13:00 AM  
Blogger zakar said...

Thanks for the laughs -

you and C-Train are too much -

You will have to help me get started - http://seniorstaff.blogspot.com/

Thursday, October 20, 2005 5:16:00 PM  

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