Sunday, January 14, 2007

Good Humor indeed.



This picture truly amazes me. It’s rare when a single image is able to tell such a complex and detailed story, but this is one of those pictures. It’s a sad story; one you’ve probably heard before. Clearly this tale takes place in the South, judging by our li’l hero’s mullet, I’d say we’re in the deep South.

Let’s start with the ice cream man, something tells me his name is Billy Ray, but I bet his friends call him Shooter. Keen observers will notice that the missing fingertips on Shooter’s left hand suggests either a violent past in the Korean War or perhaps one too many bar fights down at the Country Bunker. Perhaps and more likely his disability is due to the hazardous effects that are sure to come when you mix extremely poor motor skills with dangerous and outdated ice cream truck machinery. From Shooter’s visibly irritated posture, it’s obvious that this kid did not pay for the fudgesicle. Clearly, Shooter’s half hand is the only thing standing in the way of our hero and a vicious beating. You just don’t steal a fudgesicle from a good o’l boy without paying the consequences, I don’t care if you are a preschooler.

Which brings me to our next subject, Li’l Buford. I’m 60% sure that Buford is male; his mullet is certainly cut to be masculine, although I suppose the same could be said of all mullets. It’s hard to tell at first but our hero actually put a lot of thought into his actions. To keep from burning his shoeless feet on the hot Ozarkian asphalt, he brought a towel along with him on his journey to the ice cream truck. This fact musters up an image of Lil Buford wrestling pigs in his tighty whities one moment, and then, after hearing the ice cream truck playing Dixie or Freebird or some other Southern jingle, our hero jumped to attention. Like a flash, he ran out of the barn he sleeps in, stopping only to grab spare change for payment, and a towel for shoes. Did he stop for pants, a shirt or even a pair of sandals? No, there was no time for such superfluous items. Buford was on a mission, a mission for fudgesicles, and nothing, not even a lack of valid, “Union” currency was going to stand in his way. There he is now, standing on an unwashed towel, enjoying the last few bites of a fudgesicle that are now only visible on his naked belly and ill fitting underwear.

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26 Comments:

Blogger Steele said...

nothing better than the sticky sweetness of fudgesicle on your belly. baby buford number two looks just like steven smiths new nephew by the way. ask him for a picture, the physical resemblance is uncanny...but he does leave the choco-belly to his uncle steven.

Monday, January 15, 2007 12:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keen observers will notice that the missing fingertips on Shooter’s left hand suggests either a violent past in the Korean War or perhaps one too many bar fights down at the Country Bunker.

Nah, nothing as dramatic as a war veteran or bar fighting. He probably was attempting to clear debris out from under a running lawn mower.

Man, I tell you. This picture is like digging up bones. I'm having flash backs to my days as a pudgy asthmatic during the summer time.

Fred

Monday, January 15, 2007 1:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ozarkian... hehehehe

Monday, January 15, 2007 4:12:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Steele

Do you mean the same Steven Smith I was in the police academy with? The same Steven Smith that will one day be my full time partner? Do you mean the one and only Steven Danger Smith? Who are you and how do you know Officer Danger?

Monday, January 15, 2007 7:36:00 PM  
Blogger Steele said...

officer danger eh? hard to imagine that name sticking as well as the melted fudgesicle, but if you say so.

i am none other than adam steele; best man in the smith-clodfarber wedding, thrower of poker-parties and all around good guy.

and don't think i have forgotten about the hog...i have just been destracted by life and funny blogs.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 12:37:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Well now that makes sense. I guess I never knew your last name; I always thought it was just "Adam". You know like other one-name icons, people like Cher, Madonna, Elvis, or Gallagher. I'm almost sad you now have a last name, it's like you're suddenly mortal.

I think the hog might need to wait a little longer, I just bought a new Charger.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 8:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pec, is that second picture one of your childhood? Just wondering... especially with the Pyro wallpaper.

My uncle has a childhood picture of him eating watermelon with seeds dripping/sticking down his belly. Charming.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want a fudgesicle.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 3:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was about to rebuke you for your careless and unnecessary asaults against us southerners, when I remembered this picture I took in my home town this summer.

Sheridan, Arkansas (my home town) has been unofficially called the Redneck capitol of Arkansas. It's the county seat, nestled among other thriving communities such as Redfield, Poyen, Prattsville and not too far from Cooterneck.

These are towns where it's as much a bragging right to have new appliances shining in a lady's kitchen as it is to have old ones rusting in the front yard.

Thursday, January 18, 2007 8:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I resent the implications that this photo was taken in the Ozarks. Clearly it was taken someplace west of Wagoneer and south of Muskeegon, making it more likely to have been a scene in north Texas or Texarkana.

The key matter is the fact that the child is wearing tightie whiteys and not a loincloth/diaper. You will never find a child in public wearing that fancy a garment in the Ozarks when the temperature crosses into "nekked hot".

Monday, January 22, 2007 6:06:00 AM  
Blogger Solameanie said...

I think there is something to be said on the obesity issue. If your child resembles a cross between a stuffed sausage, beanbag chair and full hot water bottle, and strains a fork lift at age 3, then I'd say it's time to replace the fudgesicle with frozen Slim Fast. I don't care how much he screams and stomps. Unless, of course, he is stomping on the New Madrid fault line.

BTW...I spend much time in the South with family, and I don't see many mullets. (smile)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 1:46:00 PM  
Blogger Family Blogs said...

I was just thinking...that kid in the video on your side bar seems to be exercising pretty frantically, and yet not shedding any pounds...

Do you think it might be glandular?

Saturday, January 27, 2007 3:25:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Take a good look at "John." Do you really think that guy wears his own clothes? Nuh uh. Shooter's wardrobe comes from a combination of clothes recovered from unconscious street winos and the bargain rack at the Good Will.

Sunday, January 28, 2007 2:43:00 PM  
Blogger Deathrow Bodine said...

Pec,

How dare you stalk my chilluns and take pikchurs?!? I swar, you one of them thar weirdos?

Deathrow

Monday, January 29, 2007 8:18:00 PM  
Blogger Rev. Dr. Peter A. Butler, Jr. said...

Hi Pecadillo, I bought one of your t-shirts and a mug. The mug stays on my desk at church, and the women keep asking who you are. Do you have any glossies we can hand out?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 4:55:00 AM  
Blogger Barry Hughes said...

Good one.
www.nsideconnections.blogspot.com/

Monday, February 12, 2007 8:32:00 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Are you EVER going to post again? Do you know that it's nearly April? But I won't complain if you actually come to help my husband paint this weekend =).

Thursday, March 29, 2007 8:17:00 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

PECADILLO!
No More Miniature Homer Simpsons!
No More Indignant War Vets!
It's been Months!
I hope you have a good excuse. your gonna need one.
~~AL

Monday, April 02, 2007 9:30:00 PM  
Blogger Emily Taylor said...

You know what would put an up on my thumb would be if you would post something sometime in the near future.

Monday, April 02, 2007 11:21:00 PM  
Blogger Sybrand and Beth de Swardt said...

I'd like to thank you for being God's tool for teaching us all patience as we wait for you to post again...... In the meantime I am taking bets on when it will happen next.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 11:22:00 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:50:00 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:51:00 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:52:00 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Geez Louise! It's been three months! I need a good laugh.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:53:00 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Whoops, my computer was freaking out. Well...maybe that will get you to post. :0)

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:56:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

The people have spoken, and the Pec hath posted...

Thursday, April 12, 2007 10:19:00 PM  

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