Friday, June 30, 2006

Pecadillo's top 5 album covers

I was cleaning out the family attic this week, and I came across a few records that I feel should be made public as a cautionary tail of what happens when you mix extra cash and poor judgment.

This particular album is very close to my heart for two reasons; 1. I'm almost certain that England Dan changed my brake pads last month and 2. John Ford Coley has lived in a pup tent behind the local Burger King since I was a kid.

I find it odd that someone who's clearly never stepped foot out of the Ozarks could have "England" as a first name. I can only assume that England's namesake was the result of a bad combination of the Dan family's moonshine and a Roger Miller record or two. You have to respect a guy like England Dan though; despite his own obvious issues and social deficiencies, even he is uncomfortable around Big John Ford.

I can't decide what's worse; being in a band with your parents, or being the only fourteen year old with a comb-over.

I'll be honest, everything about this cover troubles me. Is "Country Church" the name of this band and this is their self-titled debut? Is that barn in the background their country church as well as their home? I need more information; these people fascinate me.

I always find it interesting when I see people dress alike on purpose, and this is no exception. Typically, only factory workers or a pair of six year old twins can get away with it... and again, this is no exception. I'm trying to imagine what was going through the minds of these guys while this picture was taken.

"Hey Cletus, I know that there un-E-form don't exactly fit but if you try to stand behind Maude, maybe people won't notice that you look like David Crosby in plaid midget clothes."

Yeah, that's probably how it went.

I don't know about you, but I want to see this family band in a cage match with the Country Church band. They're almost identical; both bands have matching uniforms; both opted to have their pictures taken in open, vacant fields. And they both have their own awkward, poorly kempt, powerhouse bass players in ill-fitting clothes from the children's department at Sears.

My money's on Al Davis here. Just look at that power stance.

One and only indeed. There is something very sad about a guy who thinks a leather jacket and a magnet ear-ring earns street cred. In his mind he's thinking, 'Fonzie' but in reality, this is the 'one and only' guy that got kicked out of Hansen for being too girly.

At first glance, it's easy to dismiss Hawkes as a 90 lbs, Clay Aiken knock off with a fake mole, but believe you me, you do not want to cross him or his Vespa gang.



Blogger clyde said...

you sir are so the man. i have better album covers...

SC for one...yes his mul-lay was untouchable

i can explain on Sunday

Friday, June 30, 2006 11:20:00 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Enough with the covers; did you listen to these albums or are you sans a turntable?

Saturday, July 01, 2006 4:28:00 AM  
Blogger Jeremy Weaver said...

'Bout time you got back.
Now see about posting some lyrics from these albums. That would be pretty funny, I bet.
And you need to become a regular commenter over at Purgatorio.

Saturday, July 01, 2006 4:51:00 AM  
Blogger FX Turk said...


So the return of pecadillo is a Heinrich knock-off?

I can't believe your Dad let you buy Chesney Hawkes. It may be proof that he wanted a girl. BTW, here's what Chesney is up to these days.

Um, in case that was keeping you up at night.

Saturday, July 01, 2006 5:28:00 AM  
Blogger Mike Y said...

The Country Church is very disturbing to look at-- especially the dude on the left who is desperately trying to look cool while wearing a dorky turtleneck.

And is that Chris Farley in the next one?

I need therapy now!

Saturday, July 01, 2006 6:42:00 AM  
Blogger Jeremy Weaver said...

Fat guy in a little coat...

Saturday, July 01, 2006 7:21:00 AM  
Blogger Mike Y said...

Oh, and the Country Church member on the left sort of resembles Meathead, the son-in-law on All in the Family.

Saturday, July 01, 2006 9:54:00 AM  
Blogger Greg Linscott said...

So Pec,

Let's clear this up- were these YOUR albums or your Dad's?

Saturday, July 01, 2006 4:06:00 PM  
Blogger Cindy Swanson said...

Pec, you're following in the footsteps here of one of my favorite bloggers, Purgatorio. I love his Divine Vinyl feature...but yours might be even better because you provide commentary, and the commentary is just as funny as the album covers. Love it!

Saturday, July 01, 2006 6:54:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Nobody's going to believe this but I'd never seen Pugatorio's "Divine Vinyl" series until after Frank Turk called me a hack. As you know I've kind of been away from the blogosphere for the better part of a year.

After a good thirty minutes of 'Heinrich' google searches resulting only in web sites devoted to Nazi leaders, I finally figured it out.

Purgie has given me his blessing and this is my official hat tip.

Saturday, July 01, 2006 7:23:00 PM  
Blogger bp said...

Its amazing! I used to have a lether jacket just like the one Chesney Hawkes has on. It was my favorite. I lost that jacket one night when I took it off @ a Wilson-Phillips concert. Every time I hear the lyrics "hold on for one more day" I shed a lone tear for the jacket that I lost.

Sunday, July 02, 2006 12:45:00 AM  
Blogger Jeremy Weaver said...

You're absolutely correct. No one believes you.

(Had to jump on it before Turk did.)

Sunday, July 02, 2006 4:52:00 AM  
Blogger collin wimberly said...


England Dan later became known as Dan Seals, one of the most successful country music stars of his day.
It's hard to believe, I know.


Sunday, July 02, 2006 8:02:00 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

I love the mole on the lip of that Shawn Cassidy looking dude. Maybe we can flip him a quarter and he can go down to the docks and have a rat gnaw that thing off his face.


Sunday, July 02, 2006 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger Nate said...

i swear... i know a guy that looks exactly like England Dan!

Sunday, July 02, 2006 1:43:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

The worst part of the country church album photor is that the background is so obviously juxtaposed. They couldn't even get these people out to a real country church - they just used an old backdrop.

Quite an enjoyable romp through your musical childhood. Thanks for sharing Pec.

Sunday, July 02, 2006 8:27:00 PM  
Blogger Kay said...

Chesney was my boyfriend when I was 13. Well, I had his poster on the back of my bedroom door, anyways.

He was in a film with Roger Daltrey. I'm not sure if that makes him cool, or merely throws his uncoolness into sharp relief...

Monday, July 03, 2006 2:04:00 AM  
Blogger Wes Langdon said...

great post, Pec. Glad to have that sense of humor back on the blogosphere. BTW... is that last guy related to Kenny Chesney? :)

Monday, July 03, 2006 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger steve said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Monday, July 03, 2006 4:38:00 PM  
Blogger steve said...

I was just awunderin' what a "cautionary tail" is. Is that somethin' like cat with a crooked tail or stubby tail cuz it got its tail caught in the door jam?

Monday, July 03, 2006 4:40:00 PM  
Blogger bp said...

I can't help but notice that Chesney Hawkes bears a striking resemblance to the character Shane McDermott portrayed by acclaimed actor Mitchel Goosen in the hit Disney feature film Airborne. This movie also features Seth Green as Wiley, Jack Black as Augie, and Edie McClurg as Aunt Irene.

Monday, July 03, 2006 8:09:00 PM  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

I can't help but notice that Chesney Hawkes bears a striking resemblance to the character Shane McDermott portrayed by acclaimed actor Mitchel Goosen in the hit Disney feature film Airborne. This movie also features Seth Green as Wiley, Jack Black as Augie, and Edie McClurg as Aunt Irene.

(Fred) I am putting it at the top of my Netflix list immediately.


Monday, July 03, 2006 9:12:00 PM  
Blogger bp said...

Avast! England Dan and John Ford Coley look like they would make fine pirates. Perhaps I will let them come aboard my vessel for my next seaward voyage. They can fight over who gets the position of ships boy.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 12:05:00 AM  
Blogger a suburban housewife said...

Oh my WORD! Seriously, when I was a little girl, the "Henry and Hazel Slaughter" team would come to sing at our church twice a year! My mom and dad have 5 or 6 albums and several 8-tracks (even better) in their attic.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 6:56:00 AM  
Blogger Jamie McBride said...

More please.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006 7:32:00 AM  
Blogger Aspiring Girl said...

All I have to say is this post made me laugh hard. I saw you in gracelife sunday but I was too afraid to say hi. So- hi.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006 2:24:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

I noticed Chesney Hawks is sporting Cindy Crawford's trademark mole (beauty mark) above the lip. So my question is: is Chesney pre or post-Cindy Crawford? Maybe Chesney was the first person to make the above the lip beauty mark cool and Cindy was merely a copy cat?

Thursday, July 06, 2006 8:46:00 AM  
Blogger Aspiring Girl said...

Actually I feared the smell of my unbrushed teeth, to be honest.

Thursday, July 06, 2006 5:50:00 PM  
Blogger SoccerReformer said...

joanna - who says fear is always a bad thing?

Pec - laughed till i couldn't breathe, thanks.

Is the guy perched in the background on the crusaders cover having some kind of monkey complex? Just wondering.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 8:47:00 PM  
Blogger Chris Freeland said...


Stop eating donuts and post something. Your fans are dying out here.

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:04:00 AM  
Blogger Frank Di Gerl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Friday, July 21, 2006 5:37:00 PM  
Blogger Frank Di Gerl said...

Oh my goodness!!! I'll tell you how much I enjoyed it once I stop laughing and pick myself off the floor.

Friday, July 21, 2006 5:39:00 PM  
Blogger Solameanie said...

Dan Seals is also the brother of Jim Seals (Seals and Crofts). Like brother Jim, I think Dan is also an evangelist for the Bahai' Faith. Wonderful, huh?

As to those album covers, thanks a lot, Pec. I thought I had left those behind years ago after my last radio DJ stint where I was forced to play country gospel for six hours at a stretch. I gained weight and lost hair just looking at the cover art. (?!?) After a few songs and not being able to take it anymore, I would find a Keith Green album and pop that on, only to be inundated with calls screaming at me for playing "devil" music. I didn't know that any music produced outside of Appalachia was Satanic, but so it goes.

I am now off to hunt for my bottle of Maalox.

Friday, August 04, 2006 11:21:00 AM  
Blogger Luke and Rachael said...

my gut hurts. knock-down hilarious.

Thursday, September 14, 2006 5:10:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

nice post love reading it.
Leather Coats

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 11:04:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home