Saturday, September 16, 2006

The purpose of Camera Phones

Camera phones are a great invention. Without them, many of my favorite pictures would simply not exist. An image like the one below would never have been captured and thus never released amongst the public for the enjoyment of all mankind.

What a waste that would be.
I don't know who took that picture, but if the photographer didn't have his camera phone with him that day, he never would have been able to prove to his friends that he'd seen the Michelin Man's son at MacDonalds.

This picture was taken on Christmas Eve, 2004 from my phone. NOTE: contrary to what your eyes are telling you, this man is not sans pants. He's simply wearing shorts that are entirely too short for a non-foreign, male adult to be wearing in public.

Myself, the C-train, and Muffin were having our annual breakfast/gift exchange at the local IHOP, a tradition we've continued for years. This guy was already seated behind Muffin's chair when we arrived. He was wearing a matching jacket and shorts combo but because he is approximately 80 years old, the top of his shorts reside a few inches below his armpits. This meant that while seated with a white napkin in his lap, his shorts were completely invisible to the naked eye. It took me and the C-train roughly ten minutes to determine that he was in fact fully clothed. After our discovery, Muffin was kind enough to pose like I was taking his picture while I captured this Kodak moment. Merry Christmas indeed.

My dad took this picture of me in the Tower of London. This guy fell asleep on a bench in the White Tower while hoards of other tourists walked around him. Some stood and pointed, others laughed. I decided to pose for a picture next to the poor guy. He almost woke up twice, once when I sat down and again when onlookers realized what me and my dad were doing.

This guy fell asleep on a bench in a popular shopping area in Santa Monica called Third Street Promenade. Something - either a gust of wind or perhaps a mischievous Seagull - caused the front of his shirt to fly up exposing his protruding belly with a suspicious growth just above his navel. I would have posed for another picture but this guy smelled of old cheese and feet. Dad has really let himself go.

This is the back wall of a dirty Mexican Food joint off Laurel Canyon Boulevard, deep in the heart of the San Fernando Valley. I'm talking about the type of restaurant that proudly displays its well-earned "D" rating by the California Department of Environmental Health. The type of place that probably runs an underground cock fighting/cat juggling gambling ring after hours. This is where society’s outcasts and degenerates spend their time.

I was there having lunch with my family and I was struck by how much this Lone Mariachi looks like Burt Reynolds. "El Smokey era el bandido."

This is the front sign of an abandoned aerobics center near LAX. It's a relic of a time when two men clad in flamboyantly colored spandex could stand that close together without questions of their manhood being raised. At the height of its popularity, this gym was patroned by some of Hollywood's most fabulous stars. It was not uncommon to see George Michael and Elton John spotting each other as they did squat thrusts, power lunges, and seated chest flys. This was a time when "Sweatin' to the Oldies" and "Jazzercise" were acceptable forms of workout. A time when people thought Richard Simmons was just really happy.

Boy, I'm glad those days are gone.



Blogger Frank Di Gerl said...

I think the laws for indecent exposure need to be tightened up to prevent us from having to look at the nasty legs of 80 year old men.

Thank goodness those days are gone! Whoever invented brightly colored spandex clearly had problems.

Saturday, September 16, 2006 9:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew Michelin Man's son ate at McDonalds!

Saturday, September 16, 2006 1:08:00 PM  
Blogger bp said...

Watching a diaper wearing old man eating at an IHOP... somebody got what they wanted for Christmas that year.

Saturday, September 16, 2006 3:18:00 PM  
Blogger Even So... said...

Thjat last picture is just very, very wrong...

Saturday, September 16, 2006 9:27:00 PM  
Blogger Luke and Rachael said...

The words "Elton John," "George Michael," and "squat thrusts" should never appear in the same sentence. Truly disturbing.

Sunday, September 17, 2006 3:19:00 PM  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

I was there having lunch with my family and I was struck by how much this Lone Mariachi looks like Burt Reynolds. "El Smokey era el bandido."

Nah, Smokey and the Bandit are some of his older films. He had a tad of grey in those, as well as a slight belly. I'm thinking more "Gator" era, maybe "Shamus."


BTW, I think I know that old guy.

Monday, September 18, 2006 8:51:00 AM  
Blogger clyde said...

indeed, the last picture is the most awful thing i've seen in a while.

Monday, September 18, 2006 11:07:00 AM  
Blogger Neil said...

I don't understand your problem with the IHOP guy's wardrobe.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 4:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the little guy at macs reminds me of 'pank-ee - little rascals. boy did i date myself. nevermind.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 6:09:00 AM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...


The only way you can get away with those shorts is if you're 1. not a man, 2. European, or 3. your name rhymes with "Gagnum PI"

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 11:51:00 AM  
Blogger Kate Alesso said...

That's the second time I've heard that Tom Selleck had great legs. Gotta say, I don't generally notice peoples' legs, except for the other day, when a family friend in his sixties wore similar shorts to those in the picture. I had the bad fortune of sitting across from him. Then, I think that evening, I came here, saw the picture, and almost screamed.

Y'know, I've been to Europe and never saw a dude wearing shorts like that.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

Let me make something very clear; I never said that Tom Selleck had great legs.

I've only been to Europe once and it was in Feburary (very cold). Most people had multiple layers. However, France is said to be the out-of-shape-dude-in-the-speedo capital of the world.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 12:34:00 PM  
Blogger Neil said...

But he looks so cool, relaxed and refreshed, although he may receive than the average number of mosquito bites.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 6:57:00 PM  
Blogger Theteak said...


Friday, September 22, 2006 6:57:00 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

....sooo, All young people wear indecent clothing in hope of attention and attraction, middle age people dress the way they did at 20, and old people combine both, wearing 70's hotpants, 80's hair, to much make up, 90's textiles(shiver) and tiny little adhesive nails, thereby attracting attention and showing how long they've been around. you got to admit, there's a base for that.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 9:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ARL - i was just wondering at what age you were starting the category for old age - i need to know where i stand. hee, hee.
All in Christ, the Lord bless and keep you.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger Bazooka-Joe said...

I'm just discovering the beauty of camera phones myself too. Nice post Pec.


Wednesday, September 27, 2006 4:15:00 PM  
Blogger Pecadillo said...


You're alive? I thought you'd been stuck under that big table in the sky. Happy birthday dude.

Word verification: "ukjjbmy" - the Iraqi word for laundry.

Thursday, September 28, 2006 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger FX Turk said...

Dude, the gym thing is too much. Especially in LA -- how could anyone look at that and not think something, um, unnatural was about to happen?

Friday, October 27, 2006 4:13:00 AM  
Blogger FX Turk said...

I was going to make some sly references to the TeamPyro goings on lately, but it's too much work.

Friday, October 27, 2006 4:16:00 AM  

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